Tuesday, January 26, 2010

This Womans Work

I am a fan of Kevin Bacon.  I enjoy watching most of his movies.  But there is one that has been hard to watch since I discovered my infertility.  Even now with not much pain left from infertility I choose not to watch.   It is like that feeling of going into the hospital room to congratulate a family member after they give birth.  The hopsital was always the hardest part for me.   I sometimes wondered why I put myself through it.  I think it was partly because I didn't want to appear weak and then partly because I was excited about the baby too.  But it was the hardest part of other peoples pregancies for me!  I longed for that hospital experience...I longed for Brad to see how amazing I was...and to be congratulated on a "job well done".  

I realize today that this woman...meaning ME... has her own kind of work.   I may not be partnering with God to create bodies for His Spirit children but I am entrusted to love His children....all of His children including my children's birth parents.  I am called to do work that is a little different yet just as valuable.   Brad may not say "job well done" (although he does with some of my adoption projects) but I have felt that the Lord is pleased with what I am doing...I feel that I am filling the measure of my creation.   I KNOW I was meant to do and be who I am.   There is great peace is this knowledge.  I am so thankful to understand just how the Lord knows the end from the begining and my trials and blessings have been custom designed...tailor made for this woman.